slowly but surely

I have fluctuated in my weight a bit as I have been ill with chest pains. I had more than enough homemade chicken noodle soup and a concoction of chicken and rice (made with low-fat cream of chicken soup, thick)... So I gained a few pounds back. But now I'm back down to 149, so that's good. I'm really stressed out over some personal matters, so that definitely didn't help, either... I just keep telling myself that it'll happen. It's just a matter of time. Which, at this point, is my least favorable component in this weight loss thing. If only I could wake up to find that the fat fairy came and took it all away.... Sigh.And with that, I'll leave you all with this:

Dear Santa, 

This year I would like a fat bank account and a slim body, but please try not to mix the two up again like you did last year.

xoxo

blisters!

Well, I'm still losing weight, which is a plus. On the other hand, I got new walking shoes, and unfortunately they rubbed a small blister on the back of my left heel by the end of my walk the other day. It's not big, but it sure does hurt. So I haven't walked today. I'm still doing some stretches and stuff while no one is around (lololol). I'm down to about 149lbs now. :)

Last night I decided that, since I've lost a little over 10lbs, I would treat myself. Reasonably, of course. I had a really tasty salad at the Mellow Mushroom, a local pizzaria in town. It was fantastic. I did the build-your-own option, and had the salad mix (iceburg lettuce, spinach, and something else) with a little cheddar cheese, herb vinaigrette, and grilled teriyaki chicken. And water to drink, of course. SOOOO good and definitely filling, but it was healthy! Yay.

I think the one thing I miss most though... is sweet tea. Haha.

feelin' great!

So, as of yesterday I have lost 10lbs. That's right -- TEN POUNDS!!! I'm so excited I can hardly stand it. I went to visit my parents yesterday for a while, and my little Scottish Terrier Maili, and my mom said "I can see the weight-loss in your face already. How much are you down?" And so I told her proudly "TEN!" and my daddy smiled and my mom said "That's great, stick with it." Encouragement feels wonderful, wouldn't you agree?

About a month or so ago, Bryan bought us tickets to go see the frontman of Say Anything at the Masquerade in Atlanta. So yesterday we made our way to Atlanta, and let me just tell you, Max Bemis.....Ohhhhh mah god. Amazing. I loved it. It was a dream come true! Max Bemis' wife Sherri Dupree (of Eisley) was also there, and she did a couple of songs, she and Max did a couple of duets and announced they would be releasing a record together sometime soon. And also, Max performed songs like Crush'd, Walk Through Hell, Alive With the Glory of Love, and soooo many more. When he played his last song and disappeared into the back, we chanted "ONE MORE SONG!" and "BEMIS! BEMIS! BEMIS!"..... Yes, he totally came back out, and played THREE more songs, and a brand new one that will be on their new record! And the whole time, I was standing MAYBE 10 feet from him!! AAAHHHHHHH!!!!! He came over to our side of the stage and was practically nose-to-nose with me, and everyone got to touch his head or his hands, etc. He's hilarious. He's full of love and energy unlike any artist I've ever seen before. He said this was the best show of the tour, and that he's been looking forward to it for several days, AND he WILL BE BACK WITH SAY ANYTHING!!! You can rest assured that I will be there. :) Oh, and I got a shirt. It says "I went to see SAY ANYTHING but all I got was their lousy singer." Love it. Love it. Love it. And I can't wait to go back!!

ANYWAY, today I got up, I'm hoarse, andddd I've lost 11lbs! Woo hoo!! It just keeps getting better and better!!

this is my happyface

Okay, so maybe losing 2lbs a day every day is unreasonable. It's just 2 though, so I didn't think it was when I started this journey of mine. But I dropped another pound am at 152 as of 15 minutes ago, so that's fantastic!! So far I have lost 8lbs, and am starting to be able to tell the difference. I'm wearing a shirt that was a little tight on me just a couple weeks ago, and now you can't even see my bellybutton poking through! It's soft and comfy, and I'm so glad I can wear it again. :)

This feels great already, and I'm not even halfway there. I'm starting to notice my endurance building from all the walking. Hopefully someday soon I'll be able to jog an entire lap! That's my goal. By the time I lose all my weight, I'd better be able to do one lap!

Someone walked up to me on campus today after my final and said, "Hey girl, are you losing weight? Your face looks smaller!" It made my heart swell. It's so nice to know that people are noticing! I can't wait to come back off of Christmas break and be even thinner... I can't wait to see the look on people's faces, and I can't wait to hear how proud my parents are. Yesterday I updated my dad on my progress, and he said that it was good. And my Jade told me she was so proud of me, and to just stick with it. The encouragement is definitely helping, and I'm just.... I feel GREAT. If I feel this good now, I can't imagine what it'll feel like when I lose 42 more pounds!

I know this is going to take a while. But hopefully I can build up my metabolism while I'm dieting and exercising and it'll go by a little faster. It was a beautiful day today, and as much as I wanted to walk, I studied all night for my finals last night and I just didn't have the energy. On the other hand, I've been doing other little workouts in between my daily activities, and it's definitely paying off. Hopefully the exercise center here at my apartments will get completely remodeled soon and I will go and try out the brand new shiny elliptical! :)

rain

Unfortunately, it has rained the past two days. Yesterday morning wasn't so bad, so Ashley and I went for a walk. But this morning, it was just too heavy. I took took the opportunity to sleep in a little. It looks like the weight is starting to come back off now. Hopefully I'll make some more progress. :)

yayayayayay!!!

My hard work of getting up every morning and walking two miles has seemed to pay off today! :) I had been 154 all day today. I just got back from getting some new tennis shoes, and decided to weigh myself.... 153!! Okay, so it's only one pound, nothing extravagant, but hey! It means I really am making progress. I heard that stress can make you gain weight, so maybe I should cut out all the stress??

I'm feeling a liiiiittle better now!

discouraged

I'm feeling discouraged again... I just got home from going to the back with Bryan and Ashley, and the only thing I can think about is food. I've eaten today, but I'm still incredibly hungry. Cravings are hard to deal with... For almost a week now, the only thing I can think about is a Philly Cheesesteak. I want meat. I want cheese. I want a burger. I want fish. I want fried chicken. Zaxby's. Wendy's. I want tacos and sour cream. I want a Pepsi. I want sour jelly beans. I want bacon. I want smoked turkey. I want steak. I want shrimp. I want pasta. I want 3 pieces of crunchy peanut butter toast. Food. Food. Food. Food.

I'm eating, but I'm afraid of eating too many calories. I don't want to eat more than I'm burning. Yeah, I went for a long walk this morning. I went for a long walk last night. I went for a long walk yesterday morning. I'm doing crunches and planks and sit ups and stretches galore.

I WANT THE WEIGHT OFF.

But I love food.

I came home and immediately stared into my refrigerator. Nothing really there. I shut the door, and what's staring me in the face? A Giovanni's menu. I want Giovanni's Philly Cheesesteak toasted sub. I want bacon cheese fries. I want a slice of cheese cake. Yesterday my roommates ordered pizza and ate it. I didn't even touch it. It smelled so good, and it was right there, and I knew I shouldn't. Even if I had patted all the grease off of the top with a napkin. I couldn't have it. Too much grease. Too much fat. Too many calories. I LOVE Papa John's pizza. Cheese and mushrooms. My roommates ordered Domino's pepperoni, and I could smell it. My stomach was roaring... But I knew if I ate one piece, I would want three more.

So I turned and opened the cabinets. Plenty of food. Soup, Special K bars, cereal, pasta, rice, etc. Something in the back of my mind just snapped, and I was suddenly overwhelmed with a sense of failure.

This is probably one of the hardest things I've ever done... And I don't know if I can do it. I set myself a goal. Two pounds a day for 30 days. I can do it. I know I can. But I don't have the will power.

I stepped outside and sat on the steps of my apartment complex. I looked down. My fat, ugly legs. I knew what was under my grey leggings. Nasty, chunky, disgusting fat legs. Wavy, deep, red stretch marks. I've NEVER had stretch marks before. They're on my hips, my boobs, my thighs, my sides... My arm fat bulges. My double chin sags, and I know it because I'm frowning. My fat cheeks are red because I'm so upset, and I just know it makes my face twice as big, so I swallow it and ignore it. My promise ring is getting tight on my finger.... My ugly, short, fat fingers. My chunky mass of a stomach is smushed, crammed, stuffed down into the waistband of my leggings, creating an extra thick fat roll. The dimples in my thighs are just unsightly, and horrid...cellulite. My shirt is tight, so I hide the way it clings to me under my rain jacket. My rain boots are tight on my calves.

I'm hungry. Not just hungry, but I feel like if someone put a plate with a mountain of food in front of me, I would eat it all, and the plate, too.

What am I supposed to do with this? How am I supposed to cope like this? I have to lose weight, and I know it. I'll be happier, I'll feel better, I'll look better.... But I'm at 154, and it doesn't seem like the rest is ever going to come off... I keep telling myself encouraging things, and yet...

I'm so disheartened, and I don't think anyone will ever understand this pain. It's something that no one should have to endure... No one.

walking!

Yesterday, Bryan and I got up at 5:30a and walked around the campus. If you take the sidewalk, and walk all the way around without cutting through campus, it's approximately 3 miles. We did two laps, and I felt great! Last night, my friend Ashley and I went and did one lap. I noticed that my legs hurt a lot more when I walk in the evening as compared to the morning. Maybe because I spent all day on my legs yesterday... Anyway, Ashley spent the night with me at my apartment last night, and we got up at 6:00a and did another two laps. Again, I feel great! It was misting rain, and really cool outside, but it felt great. That makes two days in a row that I got to watch the sun come up! :)

Unfortunately, I seem to have plateaued. I'm not sure why... Maybe it's because I went two days without doing my basic stretches and crunches, etc? I'm still at 154. Six pounds, and I"m already plateauing? :(

Oh well, I guess it's just one of those things you have to work past... I'll make it though... I know it. It's all a matter of will power and determination. And now, I have even another friend to do this with me! Ashley wants to lose about 20lbs, so I told her we could do it together, and be each other's support! It'll be different than working with Bryan, I'm sure, since we're both girls. Hopefully with each other we'll both be able to have healthy, fit, spring break ready bodies!!

Nah....

Not hopefully... DEFINITELY. :)


xoxo

why can't it ever just be easy?

As I mentioned earlier today, I didn't make my goal today. Yesterday I had planned to make it down to 153, and was at 154. Well, I was just a pound off, no big deal, right?

Today I wanted to make it down to 153, possibly 152. According to my 2lbs-a-day schedule, I was actually supposed to be at 151, but I guess 3lbs in 24 hrs is unreasonable.

I've battled hunger and belly aches all day today. There's a place down the road from my apartment called Giovanni's, and it is absolutely my favorite place to get a Philly Cheesesteak toasted sub. Mozzarella cheese, steak, seasoning, crispy, fluffy bread... Crisp, hot french fries with cheese and bacon... BBQ boneless wings... Oh god, my belly is growling just thinking about it again!

My roommate told me the other day that apparently cravings only last 15 minutes. I'm sure this is correct to a point... But it's all I've been able to think about all day!! I just want food. I'm at about 292.5 calories for today, and I know that one 6 inch sub would easily put me at at least 1000. Which is sad. I can't believe how high in calories some of my favorite foods are! :(

So I just had a little crying fit. I just want the weight to FALL OFF of me. I went for a long walk today, all the way up to the gas station, through campus, up a couple enormous hills... I pace a lot, and wiggle every chance I get. Every little burned calories adds up, so why not make the best of it?

I get that I'm obsessing. And I know many people will read this and call me anorexic, or psycho, or what have you, but to that I say, you really truly NEVER know what this feels like, until you have experienced it. It's terrible. I'm wrought with depression, and I'm so tired of being fat.... It's so easy to gain, but so hard to lose. It's consuming my life. I LOVE food... And now I just can't function without it, it seems.

But I remain strong. Well, strong but with wobbly legs, it seems. I have an apartment full of food, and I'm only eating the healthy stuff. I'm drinking water instead of juice and soda. I'm exercising. This is all great, and I AM losing weight... just not at the pace I'd like.

Oh well.... I guess beggars can't be choosers.... right?

On the other hand, I discovered the cause of my fiery belly aches and I can't believe I didn't realize it before -- My acid reflux. I have totally forgotten to take my Zantac the past few day! Silly, silly.

self conscious

I was thinking as I flipped through the Thinspo blog... I see a lot of before and after pictures. Most of them are actually taken by the girl. Meaning, a girl who is overweight takes a picture of herself in a bathing suit, or a bra and panties, or the like, and then after she loses the weight, she takes a new picture in the same outfit and pastes them together, and labels them "before" and "after." I really want to do this. Even if it's just for me to see, so that I can use it to remind myself of my purpose and my goal. The thing is.... I'm too self conscious to do it. I mean, I could always take the "before" picture and save it until I lose the weight, and then post them all here. But the thing is..... I can't even make myself take the picture. I have thought about it, and I just feel like... I don't know. Maybe I will take the pictures, and just save them until I lose a significant amount of weight.

I know that, personally, reading these blogs and seeing real girls post their success is a motivator. I feel like, "Wow, she's not a celeb. If she can do it, I can too!" And I want to be able to make other girls feel that way. I know it's harder to relate to these surreal celebrities... For me it is, anyway. Like, they have money. They can pay for surgery, or personal trainers.... I can't! So I know other girls must feel this way. Maybe I'll just take it a day at a time. :)

What do you think?

breaking even

I just woke up, and went outside for a walk around my apartment complex. I feel a lot better than I did yesterday. My stomach ache seems to have subsided, and I'm feeling pretty energetic already. Yesterday I consumed more calories than I would have liked to, but when I got on the scale this morning, it seems I broke even. My target goal set for today was 151, but I'm at 154 still. That's okay, though, because before I went to bed last night, I was concerned with having gained a pound or so. I'd rather break even than regain! :)

With that in mind, I've got a pretty rigorous day of exercise ahead of me. Bryan's up at home, doing some chores, and then he's coming here. We're going to do our stretches and warm ups, then walk/jog around campus. We may even make that trip to the grocery store! Either way, I'm going to make up for my "off day" yesterday. I'm going to drink plenty of water, and I got some Crest Whitestrips for my teeth, so I can be whitening them. I've got plenty to do today, and I can't wait to see the result!

more inspiration!!

I happened to be reading Faz's Formspring and I found skinnysweetpea's Formspring and Tumblr. :) Sweetpea's weight loss journey is incredibly inspiring... I read her entire progress story, all the ups and downs, the difficulties... I'm touched. Every day, I'm finding more and more young women that are just like me. They're all struggling and learning and changing, all for the better. I hope that I'll be just as successful. I'm ready to embrace anything that may come my way, and consider it just another step in this process. It's all for the better.

These are just two women, just like me. They're sharing their stories and inspiring confidence and bravery...

I aspire to be all that they have become.

/positive thoughts!!

feeling a little down...

I'm starting to see how hard this journey of mine is going to be. Today, I'm still sore from my first three days of exercising. I tried exercising yesterday but I was so sore it became a struggle to even sit down and stand up. After taking a long hot bath with some some moisturizing bath cubes yesterday, I can feel the tension in my legs, butt, and abs wearing off. Unfortunately, today has been extremely slow. My stomach has been hurting, and I think it's from my new medication. It'll pass though, for sure.

So today, I haven't done anything exercise-wise. I have been procrastinating, I know. It's so hard to make myself just get in the floor and DO IT! So, to try and make up for it, I waited to see how my limbs were feeling all day today. Instead of actually stretching and jogging, I decided that I would go do my grocery shopping and other errands. I parked as far from every store as possible, and walked fast enough to get my heart rate up. That's a start, I guess! Hopefully tomorrow with Bryan here I will be back in the full swing of things.

Despite my lack of motivation today, I feel good. I'm feeling good about myself, and I keep telling myself that I can't wait to be skinny. I've been looking at the Thinspiration blog a lot today to prep myself for tomorrow's hard day of working out. Hopefully it'll pay off!

I'm rather proud of myself, though. Today, I StumbledUpon a great DIY bracelet craft that I can't wait to try out. I love making things. I'm very artsy, and I think these bracelets will make perfect Christmas presents! When I finish my first one, I'll post a picture. :)

Also, a friend of mine, Mindy, invited me to go over to a party with her tonight. I think I'm going to pass though, so as to avoid the temptation of snacks and drinks. I could go and drink water, sure. But when I'm around other people that are eating lots, I give in. It's better just not to tempt myself.

So tonight, I think I will put on a couple of Crest Whitestrips to whiten my teeth a bit, and see if I can't make myself do a little mini-workout. Maybe I'll burn enough calories to lose at least one pound. :)

This stuff is tough... I hate how easy it is to gain weight, but hard it is to lose it. :(  More than anything, I just want to be back in a size 6 jeans, walk into my mom and dad's house at Christmas, and see the looks on their faces. My whole family, for that matter! I just want to hear my parents say "You look great!" and "You've lost weight!" and "I'm so proud of you!"

I know losing weight isn't everything, and my parents would love me either way... I know I need to focus on my finals next week and next semester's classes... I know I need to focus on saving money and whatnot. But I just want to get at LEAST 50lbs OFF!!! I know, I just know in my heart, that if I lose this weight, I will feel better about myself, and I will be more motivated in class, too. I just keep telling myself:

I WILL LOSE 50lbs!

I WILL LOSE 50lbs!

I WILL LOSE 50lbs!

And I will. I will lose 50lbs, and I will look fantastic, and I will turn heads hard enough to induce whiplash.

having an amazing day!

Tell me about yours! :)

always looking up...

Well, it seemed as though my plan to walk to the grocery store had been foiled. My bike is locked to the bike rack outside my apartment, and Bryan lost the key. AND, Bryan won't be here to walk to Food Lion with me. Foiled?

I think not!! It seems there is always an alternative to our plans. I really love Bryan. We've been together for a year and a half now. We've been through thick and thin (no pun intended), and good and bad. We're a tough couple. BUT it seems that I really benefit from spending time with my girlfriends, too. So, since my plans grocery shopping have been put off until tomorrow, I texted my friend Polina. She gets off work at 3:00p, and agreed to go for a walk around campus with me. :) Yay!

So you see, even when you feel like your plans are failing, you can always come up with something to satisfy yourself. I haven't seen or talked to Polina in a while, so this will be a good time to get some exercise and catch up. I'm looking forward to it.

On another note, I came up with a cool idea. For those mornings when I'm moving really slow, I made a StumbleUpon account. I added Women's Health and Weight Loss as two of my interests, and now I can spend mornings downing my first bottle of water and waking up while looking at Stumble results. So far, I've already come across several useful articles. One even has alternatives to crunches with moving pictures that show you how to do the maneuver! Handy!

Give it a shot, and while you're online, check out thinspiration-pictures.blogspot.com. :)

day four...

Yesterday I decided that I would make a calendar. On this calendar, I put my goal weight for that day, and left enough space to put what my weight was that morning and that evening. This way, if I can see I haven't made my goal, I know I need to push myself hard to make tomorrow's goal.

I'm keeping a journal to tally my calorie intake. Day one, I ate 190 calories. Day two, I had 350 calories. Day three, I had 205 calories. I read somewhere in Faz's blog or Formspring that anorexics take in between 600-800 calories daily. This blew my mind! I couldn't believe the amount that they would take in compared to my own calorie intake so far. Like I said, I'm not anorexic. I'm just trying to burn more calories than I take in, so that I will lose weight. It's hard for me to exorcise. I have a really bad knee and ankle due to multiple injuries from when I used to play soccer. I have what's called Patellofemoral Pain Syndrome, or Runner's Knee, in my right knee. The cartilage is also really rough from these past few years that I haven't played. When I walk, I can feel the grinding sensation all the way up into my hip. Stairs are even worse!

I know this is no excuse. I just have to get up and get out there and exercise. I've already discovered my weakness, so to speak... Bryan wasn't here yesterday, so I felt like I was doing this alone. I just really enjoy working out with him here. It gives me a reason to push myself. I'm aggressive competitive, and I hate to lose. So we made it like a competition. He lost, by the way. :) Haha. I just find that I have more drive when I'm trying to outdo him. And I find it exceptionally encouraging when I recall that he ran Cross Country for years. He has really toned legs, and a nice back. Like me though, he has a little belly. He's not as far overweight as I am, though.

I did some research and I found that, since I am 4'11", my average weight should range between 95-110lbs. Wow. I can't remember the last time I weighed 95lbs. I don't know how skinny that would make me.... I don't want to be a twig. I want to retain a womanly figure. I just want to be thin, and healthy. Not malnourished.

Last night I was really sore, so I took a hot bath with some bath salts. It definitely pulled a LOT of the soreness out. It also made me extremely tired, so I went to bed around 8:30pm last night. This morning, I was tossing and turning around 6:00am, and finally woke up around 8:00am. WOW. I slept nearly 12 hours! Something was wrong with me though... I tried to roll over and get up, but I just couldn't. I had no idea what was making me feel so weak. I felt as if my whole body was quivering subtly. Like I was nauseous. And I was a little nauseous, but not really.

So I got up finally, and I was still sore. My body was just in slow motion. I felt slack, like my body needed a jump start. I put on a big tshirt, because I couldn't muster the ability to put on pants, and I went to weigh myself.

154lbs. Just one pound short of my goal for today. So you know what that means -- I've really gotta push it today. I'm thinking I will walk to the grocery store. The nearest one is Food Lion, and it's about 2.2 miles away. If I walk there, and walk back, I will have walked 4.4 miles.

But I just had a thought: I've got quite a bit of groceries to get. I have to get milk, Special K meal bars, fruit, veggies... And I know that a gallon of milk is not that light. Maybe I should ride my bike... I even have a little hauler on the back to carry luggage on it for when I go camping. If Bryan comes over today, we'll walk together. And if not, I'll ride my bike and go alone. Either way, I'm getting out of this apartment and getting some exercise!! Tomorrow's goal is 151lbs. So I've got 4lbs to burn off today to make it there.

Unfortunately, at the moment, I still feel really weak. I hope this doesn't last all day. I read in Faz's Formspring that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and that it would be better to eat a big breakfast and have small snacks throughout the day. So I got up, and waddled into the kitchen after weighing myself. I ate some cereal, a granola bar, and a little peanut butter. That puts me at 360 calories already this morning, but it's okay. I'll do small snacks throughout the day, and burn it off in whatever way my body will allow. I noticed also that I was parched. I've already gone through 2 full bottles of water, and I'm starting to feel better... Maybe sleeping 12 hours straight dehydrated me, and that's why I'm weak...?? I'm pretty sure that's the case.

Either way, I'm gonna get up here soon and make the best of my day.

My very first post...

Hello to anyone and everyone who may have stumbled across my blog! My name is Katie, and I'm 19 years old. I'm also overweight. Quite a bit, actually. Two days ago I started an informal diet and exercise plan. Before you ask, no, I'm not anorexic. And no, I'm not bulemic. I'm not a professional, and I'm not here to tell you what to do to lose weight. I'm here to share my experience, and if you'd like, you may follow my lead at your own risk.


I'll tell you a little about myself:


By the time I hit the 5th grade, I was 145lbs and 4'9". I was sick all the time, and extremely overweight for a kid my age and height. It was terrible, and I wasn't even aware of my condition. In the 6th grade, I was adopted. My new parents made me exercise every day. I spent 20 minutes a day on their elliptical. I was only allowed ONE diet soda a day. My mom cooked healthy meals. I even got into performing arts and soccer.


By the time I hit 9th grade and went into high school, I was 105lbs. Amazing, I lost 40lbs. By the time I graduated high school, I was 120lbs, and 4'11". That's not too bad at all. Maintaining my weight has always been a struggle, but I promised myself I would never gain my freshman 15 when I went to college.


I did. Not only did I gain my freshman 15, but I gained my freshman 40+. Yes, it's true. I got off into college life and ate and ate and ate. Fast food is my mortal enemy, and I have the world's biggest sweet tooth.


I suffer from clinical depression and bipolar disorder. It's hard, and most of the time, I comfort myself by binge eating. I make more than a couple trips to the refrigerator to snack and gorge myself on food. Afterwards, I usually feel guilty and wish I hadn't eaten it. I've been told that I'm not fat, and I'm pretty, etc. I know I'm kinda pretty. I know I'm not fat...


But I'm chunky, I'm overweight, and I'm unhappy with myself.


Unhappy.


That's the worst part, and I don't care what anyone tells me. I'm not healthy.


A couple of days ago, I decided it was time to change. I'm starting to realize that I can't fit into my clothes anymore. I'm just gaining and gaining and gaining. I just want to be able to shop for clothes and not cry when I stand in front of the mirror. I want to be able to sit down and not see two huge rolls on top of two huge thighs. I want to be able to not feel myself jiggle when I walk, laugh, run, or jump. I want to be able to wear all the cute clothes out there, and look good in them. I want my boyfriend's friends to be so jealous of him they can't stand it. I want so many things, and the answer is simple:


Motivation. There's an Australian woman out there somewhere with a blog called thinspiration.blogspot.com. I stumbled across her sight while Googling diet and exercise plans. Her blog is dedicated to pictures of thin people in order to motivate others to lose weight. I sat and cried as I flipped through the pages online, and finally decided, this is it. This is what I want, and this is what I NEED.


I found through her blog that she also has a Formspring account, in which you can ask her anything you want. The woman is a true role model. She's an open book, dedicated to helping and inspiring other women who were in her position. She eats healthy, and exercises, and helps others do the same.


I made a Formspring, too, so that I could comment on her's and tell her that she has inspired and motivated me to try and lose weight. I got p90x, and I'm going to start small with basic workouts and fasting, then work my way up to the harder stuff.


In two days, I have lost 5lbs. My boyfriend, Bryan, decided he is going to do it with me, and honestly, it's a million times better/easier to do it with a partner. He encourages me, and I encourage him. In a day, he lost 5lbs.


This is fantastic! I'm so excited I can hardly stand it. I just keep telling myself,  "It isn't about if I get skinny, it's about WHEN I get skinny."


I'm going to lose my fat cheeks and double chin. I'm going to lose my gut. I'm going to have a flat, toned stomach. I'm going to be able to walk without my thighs rubbing against one another. I'm going to be able to fit my arms into long sleeves. I'm going to be able to wear jeans again. I'm going to be thin, and healthy, and happy, and it's only a matter of time. :)


I've decided:


It's December 2, 2011. I'm going to lose 2lbs every day until Christmas. That's 50lbs by Christmas, since I started on November 30. By Christmas, if I try really hard, and push myself, I will be at 110lbs.


110lbs.


110lbs....


WOW. I can hardly believe it...


And if I get off track, so be it. I'll push myself twice as hard the next day. So far, I'm doing crunches, sit ups, push ups, and stretches at home in the private comfort of my apartment. I'm jogging in place, then to the other side of my apartment, jogging in place, back to the other side, and repeating. I'm even going to the campus recreation center to go rock climbing! I'm going to do everything I can to make it down to 110, and then, if I want to lose more, I will.


I will not just try, but I will succeed. :)




xoxo,
Katie